WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME ANXIETY-RIDDLED BOAT. A blog about understanding and overcoming creative fear.

A while ago I bought Elizabeth Gilbert's "Big Magic", a book that is all about living a creative life beyond fear. I have never started reading it, partly - funnily enough - out of fear that it won't help me overcome my creative fears. The irony. So, I pushed it away and forgot about it. Until I picked it up again recently. 

I would like to present to you a little excerpt from the first chapter where Gilbert lists a bunch of the fears that most of us encounter the moment we start flirting with the idea of leading a more creative life. She says:

You're afraid you have no talent.
You're afraid you'll be rejected or criticised or ridiculed or misunderstood or - worst of all - ignored.
You're afraid there's no market for your creativity, and therefore no point in pursing it.
You're afraid somebody else already did it better.
You're afraid everybody else already did it better.
You're afraid somebody will steal your ideas, so it's safer to keep them hidden forever in the dark.
You're afraid you won't be taken seriously.
You're afraid your work isn't politically, emotionally, or artistically important enough to change anyone's life.
You're afraid your dreams are embarrassing.
You're afraid that someday you'll look back on your creative endeavours as having been a giant waste of time, effort, and money.
You're afraid you don't have the right kind of discipline.
You're afraid you don't have the right kind of work space, or financial freedom, or empty hours in which to focus on intervention or exploration.
You're afraid you don't have the right kind of training or degree.

Gilbert's list goes on and on and on and on...

Now, why am I dropping all this depressiveness onto you? Because, I feel understood. I feel felt. And I believe so do you. Be honest, how many times did you awkwardly smile while reading one of these because you felt caught. How many times did you think "Yeah sure, maybe I think that, but at least I'm aware of it, so that changes it!".

I felt the same. Caught. "Damn it, how does she know exactly how I feel?"

Because we all feel the same. This is such a reassuring and calming thought to me. We are all in the same anxiety-riddled boat, as good as some people are at covering it up and pretending that they're not. 

Let me be honest, I don't have the solution to the problem. Maybe Elizabeth Gilbert does (I'll find out once I finish it). But I'm sure that knowing your fears is part of it. Knowing them exactly. Next time, try and catch yourself when you think them. Give yourself a little slap on the wrist every time you do. 

Only once that gross feeling of heaviness and confusion stops lingering over your heart and brain and becomes a specific list of fears can you tackle them.

You can start to break down your goals into smaller goals. "I want to build a creative empire" turns into "I want to inspire just one person to be creative this week". "I want to read more books" turns into "I want to read a few pages of my book every Sunday". “I want to learn the piano” turns into researching “piano teachers for beginners near me”.

Even though I‘ve been on this painting journey a couple of years now (2 years exactly; on 25th March 2021, I completed my first ever painting!!!), I am only recently coming to this realisation. Biting off too much than I could chew was the root cause of many of my creative blocks in the past.

Now, I’ve learnt to really understand my fears and I accept that it’s okay to break projects down into smaller goals. Since having had this realisation, I feel more inspired than ever! And I can finally breathe again.

If you’re interested in similar thoughts, you can read one of my previous blogs where talk about my frequent feelings of imposter syndrome and creative block (read “Am I an Artist?”).

Source: Elizabeth Gilbert (2015). Big Magic. Creative Living Beyond Fear. Riverhead Books, New York. (Buy here)